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Not my mind, it’s my soul that is tired

 What if this life is a movie, I wonder, and all of us are just in character sticking to a script that has already been penciled down and perfected? What if those of us full of worries and sorrows are just the main protagonist of this fairy tale and the rest of us form part of the cast and extras? Maybe that is why we consistently make mistakes and drowned in our past because it is a preset character after all, we can’t change it. Or maybe it is just a casting error; a character or scene that should never have been? Makes total sense. Ooh, and now I get it. I get the concept of the judgment day. It is just some sort of Oscar awards, and all of us whether good or bad, will be appreciated pursuant to how well we played our characters. It is just a gala, a big feasting ceremony. Nothing to worry about.

Or maybe it is a live theater play, this life. Full of an applauding audience, or booing. And see….all of us are in costumes, and the audience is loving it. Of course not all of us. For some of us all we can hear are loud boos from the audience. We are the villains in this play. Or we are just boring.

If only all this fantasy were true, what a big turn of events that would have been. It really would have explained everything. To wake up every morning, with no regrets and no apologies. To make enough mistakes, every after dawn and before dusk, just to spice up this play. And guess what, no depression, no sadness no sorrows. Just action and cut. So what really happens in this live play called life?

The winds of depression is gathering strength and it is blowing away everybody and everything it seems. Over two decades in this play now, and I have noted that it is easy to have a party friend and it is even easier to build a circle or should I say a squad. However, what is harder to find is a soul mate, just one. Someone you share the same frequency. These are the ones who know the fake smile you are curving and can see the carcasses of hope behind it. These are the ones who when you lack words they sit with you in silence and help you breath the moment away. How lucky is you who has found this kind of vibration. Well, if you don’t have one, find one or be one. What matters is that you keep a positive vibe around you. Don’t drag your soul through the mud in the name of kindness or humility.  Your health, whether mental or physical, comes first.

Tell your friends your problems, whether they are in a position to help or not. Heal yourself through them. Feed your soul positive vibes and energy. It is so easy to judge those who are not happy like us. So easy to question their maturity and their emotional intelligence. But I dare say, people who go through stress and depression are the true heroes. It doesn’t kill them. They are strong enough to wake up from sleepless nights and face each day. With tired souls and haggard minds, they put on confidence over a derailed self-esteem. And what is sad is that these are the people who seem to have everything figured out, the ones that seem perfect and happy.

When did we stop finding happiness in the small things? Like being called pretty or wasting away a whole afternoon by taking a quick nap or just laughter. When did we lose our patience and persistence? I remember few years ago we could spend a lot of time twisting our Aerial antennas just to get a glimpse of Angelo and Ina through a mchelesised tv set, and we wouldn’t give up. But now, all it takes to kill our mood is slow internet connection.

How about the conversations and friendships we used to build in the past, the strong bonds we created, the adventures we took without facebook, whatsapp or free minutes. I don’t know about you but I am nostalgic about the good old times. All you had were friends and tv shows all of you liked. The time well wasted on discussions and conversations about tv shows or the exaggerated praises on our Dads. It is not too late to do all this and relive these moments. All it takes is a changed mindset, and your world will be turned on.

All of us are going through a lot of stuff. My prayer and hope is that we will learn to be comfortable in uncomfortable situations. To remain confident even when everything seems to be uncertain and unpredictable. And that we will be charged and energized to be strong enough to push back or accept, whatever life has to offer.

9 Responses
  • Aura Billy Osogo
    March 20, 2019

    Such an insightful piece! !???
    So timely! !
    So deep! !!!

    • nthambi
      March 21, 2019

      Wow…..that’s a sad reality…….wonderful piece…..i love it

  • Julias
    March 20, 2019

    Beautifully written.

    Close your eyes and you’ll be alright, the creed of the seamstress is that you are pretty in pieces.

  • Abigail wambui
    March 21, 2019

    Finding joy in the small things of life reminds me of a book I adore. It’s called tranquil moments. One poem has this ending, ” A world of wealth and wonder, where leaves dance once, before they fall, and all we lack dear friend,is the time to go and see it all.”

    Equally feeling nostalgic about some beautiful past memories of Breathtaking sunsets and sunrises, rainy nights, cloudless skies. The priceless things in life yet expensive beyond price.

  • Primrose Mwendwa
    March 21, 2019

    Great piece

  • Irene Mbeke
    March 21, 2019

    Awesome and the hard truth presented there

  • Belinda Florah
    March 24, 2019

    So timely!
    A great piece
    Am encouraged.

  • Rahab
    March 26, 2019

    wonderful piece, the harsh reality.

  • Simiyu Kev
    March 31, 2019

    That is strong, very true

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